For a while now, I’ve been on a top-secret mission to build my Marvel: Crisis Protocol Hydra team, which basically means I’ve been collecting miniatures like they’re Pokémon and obsessively strategizing like a villain in a cheesy action movie. Whahaha! With my army almost complete and excitement bubbling like a shaken can of VB, I decided it was high time to assemble a tabletop team for a game that would finally show off my hard work—because clearly, my tea-stained strategy notes are crucial to success. After a deep dive online, I think I’ve unearthed the ultimate setup that screams “I’m cool” while also being terrifyingly effective, featuring characters that not only blend like a smoothie but also look like they just walked off a comic book cover. I chose Red Skull, Master of Hydra (RS2), as my main leader—because who doesn’t want a guy with a big head and an even bigger ego leading the charge? With his sneaky strategies and supervillain swagger, I’m hoping he’ll help me study the fine art of turning the battlefield into my own personal comedy show. I also threw in a motley crew of other Hydra operatives to support him, each with their quirky skills and talents, creating a cohesive team that I can’t wait to roll dice with in what will surely be some hilariously entertaining games! If only I new someone who played!

Red Skull (RS2)

Red Skull (RS2) is not just your average villain; he’s the top dog for a bunch of hilarious reasons. His Leadership Ability, “World Domination,” is like the ultimate cheat code for a Hydra team, cranking up the power levels when you’re controlling objectives and throwing in a victory point like confetti every turn if you’re hoarding two or more of those shiny secure objectives. This constant power boost is like having an espresso shot for your team’s abilities and attacks, while those steady victory points have you zooming ahead on the scenario track like you’re in a game of Mario Kart.

Red Skull (RS2)

Plus, Red Skull’s gang can easily bond with Grunts—those lovable, expendable minions that pop up faster than you can say “intricate evil plan.” They’re cheap, activate faster than you can find your snacks on the couch, and are perfect for snagging objectives or acting like a human shield for the baddies, letting Red Skull strut his stuff like the evil genius he is. And let’s not forget RS2’s strong personal toolkit; with offensive and defensive stats that make him as versatile as a Swiss Army knife, he’s just brimming with ways to amp up the chaos!

Hydra Troopers

To really amp up Red Skull’s glorious reign and the grand Hydra master plan, we’ve got to gather a motley crew of characters who can snag some extra power, dish out conditions, or team up with the Grunts like it’s a superhero mixer party! Enter Baron Zemo (Original/Core Set Version), the charming strategist who’s like the life of the Hydra party with his “Strategic Genius” ability, granting re-rolls for friendly attacks and defenses as if he’s handing out extra chances like they’re candy! He’s also quicker than a cat meme going viral, capable of snatching those extracts while delivering reliable punches that have his enemies saying “Ouch!” in perfect unison.

Baron Zemo

Baron Strucker, the 3-threat superstar, brings enough roster flexibility to make a yoga instructor jealous! His leadership skills are like a Swiss Army knife for conditions—he’s got your team tossing off conditions like they’re last season’s fashion, slapping them onto enemies, or even pulling off a miraculous heal when those pesky conditions come knocking. And let’s be real, Strucker is tougher than a two-dollar steak for his threat level, thanks to “Healing Factor,” making him the perfect sidekick for RS2 or even a solo act, especially when the battlefield looks like a status effect party gone wild!

Baron Strucker

Arnim Zola is like that nerd in the corner who suddenly becomes the life of the party when he whips out his “Scientific Method” team tactic card. It’s as if he’s saying, “Why settle for average when you can have extra attack or defense dice? Oh, and by the way, let me just siphon some power from you too!” With this card, a character that appears as intimidating as a kitten can turn into a force to be reckoned with, all thanks to Zola’s genius. But wait, there’s more! He also has a bag of tricks to inflict pesky conditions on his enemies, because who doesn’t love a little chaos in their day?

Arnim Zola

Crossbones is like that overzealous bouncer at a club, tough as nails and ready to throw down with a smile—he’s a 3-threat character who can rain down damage while absorbing hits like a human-shaped sponge, making him the front-line brawler every party needs, even if he’s just there for the snacks!

Crossbones

Bob, Agent of Hydra, at a puny 2-threat, is basically the MVP of objective hoarding and ranged support—like the overachiever at a lazy barbecue. He practically runs off Red Skull’s power generation like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet, dishing out ranged damage as if he’s got a never-ending supply of rubber chickens. Plus, let’s be real, having him on the table is like inviting that one friend who always makes the party ten times more hilarious, even if they occasionally trip over their own feet!

Bob, Agent of Hydra

While not Hydra affiliated, Hulk can be a terrifying “splash” character for a Hydra team, especially when paired with the “Sleeper Agent” tactic card. The extra power generated by Red Skull’s leadership helps fuel Hulk’s expensive attacks and throws, and “Sleeper Agent” can make his mighty throws un-bracable, leading to devastating effects for the opponent. Hulk was the first figure I painted, well before purchasing any other figures, and not without his fair share of dramas see here, here.

Hulk

Lastly, Spider-Woman is like that friend who shows up to the party with snacks, dance moves, and a winning lottery ticket! This versatile 4-threat character boasts impressive mobility, can spread conditions like confetti, and zooms around as an extract runner—thanks to her power generation skills and her knack for turning enemy plans into chaotic spaghetti.

Spider-Woman

In terms of Key Team Tactic Cards, “World Domination” is, as previously mentioned, your golden ticket to ultimate villainy—it’s like finding an extra slice of pizza at a party, giving you the vital victory points and power needed to conquer your foes. “Two More Shall Rise” is basically the superhero equivalent of a backup singer; it lets you activate two other characters’ leadership abilities if your main leader is knocked out. Talk about resilience! It’s like saying, “No worries, I’ve got a plan B, C, and D,” so you can smoothly pivot into new leadership—think Strucker or maybe Malekith, if you’re feeling extra cheeky.

“Illicit Tech” is your go-to card for moving extracts around the board like a magician pulling rabbits from hats, while “Brace for Impact” is like wearing a helmet while riding a unicycle on a tightrope—universally smart and saves your characters from being turned into Swiss cheese. Finally, “X-Ceptional Healing” is fantastic for characters with “Healing Factor,” especially Baron Strucker, allowing them to bounce back from damage as if they’ve just taken a refreshing dip in a kiddie pool.

This particular combination of characters and tactic cards creates a Hydra force that’s as strong as a coffee-fueled octopus at a tentacle-tying competition! Firstly, it boasts a strong scenario focus; Red Skull’s leadership is like a GPS for objective play, guiding Hydra through the map like a lost tourist finally finding the right landmark. Secondly, Hydra excels at power economy, generating power faster than you can say, “What’s my superpower today?” This lets their characters whip out their fancy attacks more often than a magician pulling rabbits from hats.

Thirdly, with “Two More Shall Rise,” Hydra transforms into the ultimate comeback kid; losing a leader is just a plot twist, allowing them to switch leadership like changing socks—messy but efficient! The roster is lined with more viable leaders than a superhero convention (RS2, Strucker, and possibly a few surprise guest stars), making adaptability their middle name. Fourthly, the team is a synergy and buffs powerhouse; Zemo’s re-rolls, Strucker’s condition tinkerings, and Zola’s “Scientific Method” create a cocktail of chaos that cranks up your attacks and defenses to eleven. Lastly, the “Grunt Swarm” from Hydra Troopers is like a discount buying blitz—cheap activations that block enemy moves, hog important objectives, and even throw a punch or two, perfect for creating a delightful “swarm” effect that’s sure to leave opponents puzzled and a little dizzy!

In summary, if you’re aiming to create a Hydra force that’s as effective as a well-placed whoopee cushion at a serious meeting, look no further than Red Skull, Master of Hydra—the ultimate leader who’s basically the captain of a villainous cheerleading squad. This powerhouse is flanked by his trusty sidekicks, Baron Zemo and Baron Strucker, along with a gaggle of budget-friendly Hydra Troopers who seem to have a knack for showing up uninvited. And let’s not forget those surprise guests like Hulk or Spider-Woman, who crash the party and add a sprinkle of chaos. Together, this wacky crew dominates the scenario play, cranks out power like a vending machine, and boasts resilience that would make a cockroach jealous, ensuring they’re a serious force to reckon with on the tabletop!