Our nine-hour flight to Thailand was reduced to just five hours. Incredible, I thought. Finally, an airline exceeding expectations.

Unfortunately, our departure city and our arrival city were both Melbourne.

We’d boarded with dreams of tropical beaches, cocktails and affordable massages. Five hours later, we were back where we started, having enjoyed a very expensive preview of sitting down.

Apparently, a warning light involving the plane’s flaps meant we couldn’t land in Thailand.

Hang on a minute.

We couldn’t land in Thailand… but we could land in Melbourne?

Were these Australian flaps? Did they only work locally? Had we forgotten to activate international roaming?

I’m sure there was a perfectly sensible aviation explanation. Unfortunately, I was operating on airline coffee and a holiday that had just been cancelled by a light bulb.

The captain thanked us for our patience. This was generous, as I hadn’t brought any. I’d packed for Thailand.

On the bright side, there was no language barrier, I already understood the currency, and my phone connected immediately.

Would I recommend Melbourne? Absolutely.

Would I recommend flying five hours from Melbourne to get there? Perhaps take the tram instead it would be quicker.

Thanks to Open AI for help with the pics.