GORK AND MORK! LISTEN UP, YA GROT! Aeronautica Imperialis ain’t no sneaky little game. It’s da biggest, loudest flyin’ Waaagh! Ya get ta pilot yer bestest, loudest choppas and Dakkajets and make da biggest explosions in da sky! We don’t need no ground squigs, we need da air!

It was a proppa good fight! We lost two Dakkajets, but we got one of dem’s Thunderbolts! Da Boss said, “It’s a draw, ya gits, but a draw wit’ more dakka!” Now we gotta go find more scrap and fix up Da ‘Eavy Choppa for da next big scrap! WAAAGH!

Ork Dakkajet

You gots all kinds o’ Flyboyz ta krump! Da humies fly deir shiny, metal boxes, but dey ain’t got enuff dakka! We gotz da Dakkajet, da fastest shoota in da sky, and da Fighta-Bommer, for when ya wanna make a really big noise! Da squishy Humies are fast, but we’ll krump ’em! Da tiny Mek-boyz fly deir fancy stuff, but a good choppa can fix dat! It’s all about who got da biggest fliers and da loudest dakka!

Da game ain’t just about pointin’ at stuff and shootin’, ya grot! You gotta be cunning like a trukk! You gotta move yer flyas around on da hexes, up and down. Sometimes ya go fast, sometimes ya go slow. Ya can do fancy ‘Ace Manoeuvers’ like a barrel roll or a big ol’ diva! Get behind ’em! Den ya let ’em have it with da dakka! When da flyin’ squig gets hit, it might get a big ol’ kritikul hit, and den da fun really starts!

Imperial Thunderbolt Fury

Da Fight Above Da Grott’s Grotto dwas dis gits first flight!

Da Flyboyz was zoomin’ fast, all red paint and loud engines, lookin’ fer a good scrap. We had a squadron of three planes: a big Fighta Bommer full of bombs, and two fast Dakkajets. Den, we saw ’em! Two shiny, humie planes called Thunderbolts, lookin’ like dey was flyin’ on parade. Gits!

Da Boss’ Dakkajet, a real sneaky one named Mork’s Maw, peeled off first. He was all “WAAAGH!” and sprayed dakka at da first Humie Thunderbolt.

But da Humie was fast, too! ‘E dodged da bullets and fired back, right into da face of Mork’s Maw! One of Mork’s wings got all chewed up, and he started spinnin’ and fallin’ down to da ground. BOOM! Mork’s Maw became a big, red fireball on da ground. Da Boss just laughed and said, “Now dat’s a proppa exit!” as he roared to da ground!

Da only way ta fight two on one dakka

You wanna get an advantage in da air? Dat ain’t just about goin’ fast! You use da hexes on da board to get da best position. Fly low to avoid da other gits’ shots, or climb ‘igh to get a good look at da field and dive down on ’em!

So don’t just fly straight, ya git! Be a sneaky, fast flyboy and outsmart da humies!

But da fight wasn’t over yet! Da big Fighta-Bommer flew in, drop’n its bombs, but dey missed da Humie planes and just made holes in da ground.

Den, our last plane, da big Figha-Bommer named “Da ‘Eavy Choppa,” flew right at one of da Thunderbolts! It was like two big metal squigs slammin’ into each other! Da ‘Eavy Choppa’s big guns roared and tore da Humie plane ta pieces! SMASH! Da Thunderbolt blew up in a shower of metal bits and fire. Gork smiles on us!

Den, one of our other Dakkajets got a bit too excited. It went fasta, and fasta, and started climbin’ ‘igher than da others. But its engine wasn’t ready for dat kind of fast! Da engine sputtered and died, and da Dakkajet just hung in da air for a second, like a stupid squig. Den, it nose-dived right into da ground! KA-BOOM! Another big explosion! Two of ours, gone! Da humies were laughin’, we could hear ’em on da radio!

Da ‘umie Thunderbolt, dat shiny flying box, had our big Fighta-Bommer right in its sights! It’s guns started spittin’ fire, and all da little bits and pieces of our Bommer were flyin’ everywhere! Da ‘umie pilot, he was probably laughin’, thinkin’ he only needed a couple more shots ta bring our Bommer down and make a big explosion!

BUT DEN GORK AND MORK LOOKED DOWN ON US! Da big Ork gods must’ve been watchin’! When da humie’s last shot hit our Bommer, it was just… a one! It bounced right off! All dem bullets, all dat fire, and it didn’t do nothin’! Da Bommer just shook its wings a little, like a squig shakin’ off flies, and kept on flyin’! HA! DAT SHOWS ‘EM! You can’t just shoot down a good Ork plane! NOT WHEN GORK AND MORK ARE WATCHIN’!

Only one plane each was left. Da last Humie Thunderbolt had a wing all shot up and was smokin’ like a busted engine. And our Da ‘Eavy Choppa was barely flyin’ itself, with only one of its structure points left, all holes and sparks. Both of ’em looked like dey were ready ta fall apart. Dey just kind of limped away from each other, too broken ta fight no more.

Ork Fighta Bomber

My first game of “Aeronautica Imperialis” and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks Jason had a great night.

If anyone has a copy they want to get rid of let me know.